


The Red Bull Incident

by darkbluebox



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Flirting, Fluff, KageHina - Freeform, M/M, Mystery, Tsukiyama - Freeform, Whodunnit, briefly, daichi and suga being team mom and dad, daisuga - Freeform, haikyuu!! - Freeform, lets play guess who did it, tanaka and nishinoya nearly blowing up the school with the strength of their brotp, volleyball dorks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2015-02-13
Packaged: 2018-03-11 05:02:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3315074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkbluebox/pseuds/darkbluebox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tanaka + Nishinoya + 6 cans of Red Bull = A very stressful day for Daichi</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The plan was perfect, and he didn't doubt that it would work. It was simple enough really, and the results would be…interesting, to say the least. Even he couldn't guess at what was going to happen; Tanaka and Nishinoya were unpredictable enough at the best of times. With six cans of Red Bull between them, it could only end in disaster.

 

He grinned guiltily to himself. He didn't doubt they would take the bait- all that was left to do was write the note.

 

_Daichee’s Red Bull._

_Do NOT touch on pain of ~~death~~ unleashing my rage_

_-Daichee_  

 

He laid out the cans in three straight rows near Tanaka and Nishinoya’s lockers and dropped the note gently on top. There was no way they would miss it.

 

A little giddy with anticipation yet at the same time afraid of the chaos sure to come, he slipped away before anyone could notice.

 

***

 

“Alright.” Daichi stood in front of the team, who had lined up outside the sports hall. “One of you has some _serious_ explaining to do.”

 

The members of Karasuno Volleyball Club shot each other panicked glances. Nothing put fear into their hearts like their Captain.

 

“Are Tanaka-sempai and Nishinoya-sempai alright?” Hinata piped up.

 

Daichi fixed the small first-year with a glare.

 

“They are very lucky not to have been hurt, but Takeda-sensei thought it best that we left them in separate classrooms on their own until they calm down a little. With the doors locked. And students standing guard.” Daichi cleared his throat. “Those two are in serious trouble.  They single-handedly caused not just the evacuation of the sports hall _mid-practice_ but also that of the entire school. We nearly had to call in the fire brigade.”

 

Tsukishima snickered. Daichi turned to him slowly. “If you're finding this so funny, perhaps you be able to explain this note?” Daichi held up the piece of paper bearing a semi-decent imitation of his handwriting.

 

“Obviously not me.” Tsukishima snorted. “For a start, I can actually spell your name right.”

 

Daichi fixed him with a glare, before moving on with his interrogation.

 

“Hinata.”

The boy made a noise like a squeak. “I didn't do it! I swear I was with Kageyama all day” Please don't kill me!”

 

“All day, huh?” Said Tsukishima. “Doing what?”

 

Hinata blushed and moved a little closer to Kageyama. “Shut up!”

 

“Is this true, Kageyama?” Daichi placed a hand on the taller boy’s shoulder, and gave him a smile more threatening than all the previous glares put together.

 

“Y-yes!” Kageyama instinctively leaned backwards, nearly losing his balance in the process.

 

“Hrmpf.” Daichi moved on apparently satisfied. He turned towards the next two in the row; Suga and Yamaguchi. He paused for a moment to look at the innocent expressions before him.

 

Suga raised an eyebrow.

 

“No interrogation for us, Captain?”

 

“Quiet, you.” He nudged Suga’s shoulder. “Unless you have something you wish to confess?”

 

There were a few exasperated sighs from the other end of the line.

 

“If you two are just going to flirt, can we please leave?”

 

“Not quite yet.” Daichi growled. He turned to the last person in the line.

 

Asahi’s face was as white as snow, and as the giant stood before him it almost looked as if he was shaking. Daichi would have immediately pegged him as guilty, if that wasn't how Asahi usually looked whenever the Captain spoke to him. Before Daichi could open his mouth, Asahi beat him to it.

 

“I didn’t do it I swear it wasn't me Daichi! I don't even have ID!”

 

“You don't need ID to buy Red Bull.” Kageyama pointed out helpfully.

 

Asahi looked like he was about to burst out into more panicked pleading when Daichi cut him off.

 

“Ok, calm down, Asahi. I'm ruling you out on the grounds that you clearly don't know what Red Bull actually is.”

 

The taller man’s shoulders slumped in relief.

 

“As for the rest of you.” Daichi turned to face them. “When I found out who did this, and believe me, I will… there will be consequences.” Daichi made his most serious expression, the one reserved only for occasions such as this. “Serious ones.” He finished. “For now, dismissed!”

 

The team scattered. Quickly.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TELL ME WHO YOU THINK DID IT  
> I LOVE A GOOD MYSTERY


	2. Chapter 2

_Earlier that day_

**Sent:** So I’ll b seeing u at practice, yeah?

 **Received:** Don’t know. Maybe.

 **Sent:** What?? Y not??

 **Received:** Don’t know. Just don’t feel like it today.

 **Sent:** Aw no!! D: D: Please come!!!

 **Sent:** Please!!!!

 **Sent:** Please please please please please please please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!

 **Received:** Nah.

 **Sent:** …

 **Received:**?

 **Sent:** What if

 **Sent:** Something interesting was 2 happen.

 **Received:** Like what?

 **Sent:** Come 2 practice and u’ll see!

 **Sent:** ;)

 

***

 

It took a while for Nishinoya and Tanaka to calm down enough to be let out. Having interrogated them for a while, Daichi believed that neither had planted the cans to “discover” later with the other. He almost felt sorry for the pair; the crash that came in the aftermath of the high was enough to have their heads drooping, and they were clearly struggling to keep their eyes open. Then Daichi remembered the amount of trouble the pair had caused for him today, and his sympathy evaporated.

 

He rested his head in his hands. Tanaka and Nishinoya’s actions had certainly been challenging to explain to the Dean. He swore this volleyball club was taking years off his life.

 

He felt a pair of arms slip around his neck as someone nuzzled into his back.

 

“Tough day, Captain?” Suga smiled into the nape of his neck.

 

“You’re telling me.” He reached up to catch Suga’s hands in his own. “When I catch the hooligan…”

 

Suga chuckled. “Hey, don’t stress out over it. Nobody was hurt, that’s what’s important. And on the upside, I got to see you doing your big-bad-Captain-act. So it’s a win-win.”

 

Daichi growled. “Oh, you like my big-bad-Captain-act huh? Noted, Mr-sunshine-and-innocence-act. Noted.” He grinned.

 

***

 

 **Received:** Well.

 **Received:** That was… interesting.

 **Sent:** Worth coming 2 practice 4, right?!??

 **Received:** It was pretty funny actually

 **Received:** But I s2g if I have to watch D & S making gooey eyes at each other much longer I'm going to lose it

 **Received:** I can see them right now

 **Received:** They're practically making out ffs

 **Received:** why me

 **Sent:** Maybe ur jealous huh ;)

 **Received:** idk what you're talking about

 **Sent:** Maybe u just want someone of ur own to maek out with

 **Received:** No comment.

 **Sent:** Where r u rn?

 **Received:** Vending machines.

 **Sent:** On my way. U won’t need to be jealous much longer ;) ;)

 **Received:** …

 **Received:** :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok it may be more obvious by now who did it... but keep telling me your suspicions!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The culprit is revealed...

Yamaguchi was picking up his bag from the floor of the club room when the extra can of Red Bull fell out with a clang. He watched with a numb sense of horror as it rolled slowly across the floor, and came to a stop at Suga’s feet.

 

_Oh dear._ Thought Yamaguchi lamely.

 

Suga looked at him, eyebrow raised.

 

“Is there something you want to tell me?” He asked simply.

 

“Uh…uh… uh…” Yamaguchi stuttered, as what felt like his world came crashing down around him. “I-I can explain…”

 

If Yamaguchi had thought matters couldn't get any worse, this notion fled the moment the Captain entered.

 

He grinned amiably at them, before his eyes came to rest on the can lying on the floor, at which point the smile evaporated from his face. Yamaguchi watched, rooted to the spot in terror, as Daichi bent over to pick the can up off the floor.

 

He stared at it for what seemed like years, before looking between Suga and Yamaguchi.

 

“Well?” His voice sounded calm, but like the kind of calm you got just before a storm hit.

 

Yamaguchi looked pleadingly to Suga as the blood drained from his face. It was a look that said _Please help me! I’m too young to die!_

“I...I…” Yamaguchi stammered.

 

“It’s ok, Yamaguchi.” Suga looked to Daichi. “It was my can.”

 

Daichi and Yamaguchi’s jaws dropped.

 

“Bu…bu… you?! It was you?!”

 

“Yamaguchi, I think you can go now.” Said Suga, not breaking eye contact with Daichi.

 

Yamaguchi was beyond words, and could only squeak and make a dash for the door before either of them changed their minds. The last thing he saw as the door closed behind him was Suga’s expression.

 

_You owe me. BIG TIME._ It said.

 

Yamaguchi didn't stick around to find out what happened next.

 

***

 

“Sorry.” Said Suga.

 

Daichi’s brain felt as though it had blown a fuse. Suga did it? _Suga?_

 

“I will accept whatever punishment you think of for me. Captain.”

 

Daichi raised an eyebrow. Oh, he had a punishment in mind.

 

He began to shake the Red Bull can.

 

“What… what are you doing?” Asked Suga, a nervous tremor creeping into his voice.

 

“Shut up.”

 

He lifted the shaken Red Bull can until it was over Suga’s head and cracked it open, spilling foaming liquid all over Suga.

 

“Gaaaaaaaaaah!” Suga yelped in surprise.

 

Daichi grinned, not yet finished. He tipped the remaining contents of the can over Suga’s head, soaking him completely.

 

Suga scowled at him. “Thanks.”

 

“You deserve it.” Daichi smiled sweetly. “Now get out of those clothes. You're soaking.”

 

“Yes, Captain.”

 

“And if anyone asks, your punishment was truly horrific, and you’re so traumatized you can't even talk about it.”

 

“Yes, Captain.”

 

They both grinned.

 

***

 

“So you didn't get into trouble?” Tsukishima asked, casually catching Yamaguchi’s hand in his as they walked.

 

“No, Suga took the blame for me. It was really nice of him, I would have been killed otherwise.”

 

“Can’t believe you were dumb enough to leave a can in your bag.”

 

Yamaguchi chuckled. “Worth it though.”

 

Tsukishima snorted. “He never so much as glanced at you during the questioning. It’s your face. It’s so angelic you could get away with murder. Unfair.” He went a little red.

 

“Ah, but only you know my truly evil depths.” Yamaguchi grinned. “Whereas you _seem_ evil on the outside but on the inside you're just cute.”

 

“Am not.”

 

“Are so.”

 

Tsukishima huffed in irritation. “Shut up Yamaguchi.”

 

“No.” They paused, and Yamaguchi perched on his tiptoes to dot a kiss on Tsukishima’s nose. “I’m glad you came in today.”

 

Tsukishima went red. “Y-yeah.” He grinned a little. “Me too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my reasoning is basically that it is impossible for Yamaguchi to actually be as innocent as he looks and also he would do anything for Tsuki ;)   
> Bless Suga for being team mom and protecting all baby crows (even ones that get the school evacuated).  
> Please let me know your thoughts and if you have any requests for the future. :)


End file.
